In my state, laws recently passed that prohibit domestic abusers from owning firearms for eight years after their conviction in an attempt to keep domestic abuse victims safe from violent partners and exes. Time will tell whether or not it helps.
Grazie for this post. Hopefully the local and national governments of Italy will start to look for effective ways to solve the problem (beyond pamphlets) and make the world a little safer for women.
It is, sadly, the same the world over. I remember having this conversation in 1980 (!) with a (male) friend, who couldn’t understand why women reacted a certain way. I replied: when men stop killing, or hurting, women they ‘love’, then I guess women will stop reacting that way.
I’m probably going to get a lot of blowback for this but I have come to the conclusion that almost all crimes (damage, if you will), if not actually all, is caused by a lack of respect. Wait, hear me out. Ok, it is said that these crimes are caused by objectification by the criminal for the victim. But, what allows the objectification in the first place? To me, it’s a lack of respect. I was reading your previous post, about a square that was ‘renovated’ in such a way to make uninviting in the extreme. What is that, if not a lack of respect, for the square and its place in history, the architecture, the architect, to say nothing of visitor to the square?
Now, I am NOT equating the murder of a bright star to the desecration of square through poor renovation, but I see them as points along the same scale. In my opinion (and I would welcome discussion), this idea can be extrapolated to include war, particularly what’s happening right now. I think that I’d better stop here as I can feel the blowback coming…
I'd say that rather than lack of respect towards a person, is fear of losing one's own privilege over them. It's a matter of power. The idea that a man *must* earn more, *must* be stronger, *must* be head of a family... That's patriarchy: the idea that men should hold some power over women. This idea turned into a social introjection, unconsciously adopted by men and women alike for centuries, and it's tough to be dismantled. The father of the murderer saying his son is a good guy because "he always has money in his wallet" and that "he's just a little jealous and clingy" minimising the problem is a result of patriarchy, the idea that a man pays therefore he's entitled to whatever behaviour, even if it's antisocial and possibly dangerous for others (for women, namely).
As for war, colonisation and genocide root from the same stem of patriarchy: power and prevarication.
Every three days a woman is killed by a man who is a partner or who she tried tk make an ex. We need to do better at home with young male children because as long as men here think women are objects to own it won't change.
I never told you what you should or shouldn’t write about. I was commenting on your topic which is the abuse of women. I don’t know how you misunderstood. You took it as criticism when I never criticized you.
Yes, women are still abused and worse all over the world even after awareness and education. What shocked me is not one women’s group supported or voiced any objections to the abuse and rape of Israeli women and young girls, not to mention Hamas also rapes boys and men.
Sara, you’re free to voice your thoughts on the matter on your own substack — I don’t know why you feel so comfortable telling other people what they should or shouldn't talk about on their blogs/newsletters, dictating how / when / where… I am against all forms of violence, Hamas is a terrorist organisation and I would never ever support them, but the Israeli government is also committing genocide, which is particularly appalling knowing what the Jewish people went through during WWII. It doesn’t make any sense, and many Jewish people all over the world are against the wrongdoing of the Israeli government, too. The result is innocent civilians on both sides are being murdered — I don’t believe in Hamas numbers, but I believe what doctors from Medicins Sans Frontiers say about the situation in Gaza.
Anyway, my substack is not the place for you to come and dictate what I should or should not write about. If you don’t like it, fair enough: you’re free to unsubscribe. Thank you.
Thanks for the reminder, Giorgia, that all that beauty, history, and incredible food that draws us to Italy doesn't fully cover the dark side.
It's extremely sad that Italy is dealing with this, but the situation for women is similar in many other countries, including the U.S.: https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offender-relationship-2021
In my state, laws recently passed that prohibit domestic abusers from owning firearms for eight years after their conviction in an attempt to keep domestic abuse victims safe from violent partners and exes. Time will tell whether or not it helps.
Grazie for this post. Hopefully the local and national governments of Italy will start to look for effective ways to solve the problem (beyond pamphlets) and make the world a little safer for women.
It is, sadly, the same the world over. I remember having this conversation in 1980 (!) with a (male) friend, who couldn’t understand why women reacted a certain way. I replied: when men stop killing, or hurting, women they ‘love’, then I guess women will stop reacting that way.
I’m probably going to get a lot of blowback for this but I have come to the conclusion that almost all crimes (damage, if you will), if not actually all, is caused by a lack of respect. Wait, hear me out. Ok, it is said that these crimes are caused by objectification by the criminal for the victim. But, what allows the objectification in the first place? To me, it’s a lack of respect. I was reading your previous post, about a square that was ‘renovated’ in such a way to make uninviting in the extreme. What is that, if not a lack of respect, for the square and its place in history, the architecture, the architect, to say nothing of visitor to the square?
Now, I am NOT equating the murder of a bright star to the desecration of square through poor renovation, but I see them as points along the same scale. In my opinion (and I would welcome discussion), this idea can be extrapolated to include war, particularly what’s happening right now. I think that I’d better stop here as I can feel the blowback coming…
I'd say that rather than lack of respect towards a person, is fear of losing one's own privilege over them. It's a matter of power. The idea that a man *must* earn more, *must* be stronger, *must* be head of a family... That's patriarchy: the idea that men should hold some power over women. This idea turned into a social introjection, unconsciously adopted by men and women alike for centuries, and it's tough to be dismantled. The father of the murderer saying his son is a good guy because "he always has money in his wallet" and that "he's just a little jealous and clingy" minimising the problem is a result of patriarchy, the idea that a man pays therefore he's entitled to whatever behaviour, even if it's antisocial and possibly dangerous for others (for women, namely).
As for war, colonisation and genocide root from the same stem of patriarchy: power and prevarication.
Every three days a woman is killed by a man who is a partner or who she tried tk make an ex. We need to do better at home with young male children because as long as men here think women are objects to own it won't change.
Exhausting is exactly the right word
I never told you what you should or shouldn’t write about. I was commenting on your topic which is the abuse of women. I don’t know how you misunderstood. You took it as criticism when I never criticized you.
Yes, women are still abused and worse all over the world even after awareness and education. What shocked me is not one women’s group supported or voiced any objections to the abuse and rape of Israeli women and young girls, not to mention Hamas also rapes boys and men.
Sara, you’re free to voice your thoughts on the matter on your own substack — I don’t know why you feel so comfortable telling other people what they should or shouldn't talk about on their blogs/newsletters, dictating how / when / where… I am against all forms of violence, Hamas is a terrorist organisation and I would never ever support them, but the Israeli government is also committing genocide, which is particularly appalling knowing what the Jewish people went through during WWII. It doesn’t make any sense, and many Jewish people all over the world are against the wrongdoing of the Israeli government, too. The result is innocent civilians on both sides are being murdered — I don’t believe in Hamas numbers, but I believe what doctors from Medicins Sans Frontiers say about the situation in Gaza.
Anyway, my substack is not the place for you to come and dictate what I should or should not write about. If you don’t like it, fair enough: you’re free to unsubscribe. Thank you.